On bearing illness #2

In the book Wounded by Love, St. Porphyrios related this,

I thank God for granting me many illnesses.  I often say to Him, My Christ, Your love knows no limits!  How I am alive is a miracle.  Among all my other illnesses, I also have cancer of the pituitary gland…I am in dreadful pain.  But, I pray, taking up the cross of Christ with patience…I’m in great pain, but my illness is something very beautiful.  I feel it as the love of Christ.  I am moved and I give thanks to God.  It is on account of my sins.  I am sinful and God is trying to purify me.  When I was sixteen years old, I asked God to give me a serious illness, a cancer, so that I would suffer for His love and glorify Him through my pain…God did not forget my request and He gave me this benefaction after so many years!  Now I do not pray for God to take from me the very thing I desired.  I am glad that I have it so that I can participate in His sufferings through my great love.  I have the chastisement of God:  For the Lord chastises the one He loves, (Heb. 12:6).  My illness is a special favor from God, who is inviting me to enter into the mystery of His love…That’s why I do not pray for God to make me well, rather I pray for Him to make me good.

 

 

Insistence on God's action

Quote from the book  Father (now St.) Porphyrios: The Discerning, the Forseeing, the Healer whose memory is celebrated December 2: 

God knows without counting them the number of needles on these pine trees. He takes care of them from the time they start to grow until the time they die. He also knows the number of hairs on your head. Therefore, if He knows these unimportant things and cares about them, is he not aware of your problems and indifference to them? Absolutely not! Consequently, what is happening? Well, listen to me. When God does not give us something that we persistently ask for, two things may happen: either He does not give it to us for our benefit or we do not know how to ask for it. Both could happen. As for the first case, nobody knows why, the will of God is unfathomable. So I keep silent. However, I can tell you a lot of things concerning the second case. First of all, when we ask something from God, we must not obstinately say, “I want this now!” This is not only unacceptable but impious towards our Creator as well. We must ask something from God in a beseeching and gentle manner for a certain period of time. If we see that God refuses to give it to us, we stop disturbing Him. The more we want something, the farther away it goes from us. And when we have forgotten it, it will come imperceptibly . God does not forget. He receives our request, and when He knows that it is time, He answers it. Therefore we must not insist on changing God’s will. We must not pursue it, but leave it in God’s hands. Wait for His answer with patience, peace and faith. Stop caring about your problem if you want God to take care of it.