The greatest test of a friendship is whether one person can
reprove the other. All of us commit sins
from time to time; and all of us try to blind ourselves to our sins, making
excuses for ourselves, or pretending the sin did not even occur. At such times we need friends to open our
eyes to the reality of our sins. Put
yourself now in the position of the friend.
Are you willing to open that person’s eyes? Are you willing to expose the excuses as
false? Are you prepared to risk that
person’s wrath, as wounded pride rises up in anger? Or do you prefer to blind yourself to your
friend’s faults, and so join a conspiracy of blindness? In choosing our friends, we should embrace
those who are willing to be honest with us, and those prepared if necessary to
endure our anger. Without such honesty
the friendship has no depth, and is useless.
Yet when it is your duty to express criticism to a friend, beware of destroying
that friend’s self-respect. Always
soften your reproof with words of affirmation, in which you acknowledge their
virtue. And ensure that your own motives
are good: that love, not jealousy or
anger, is the true wellspring of your words.
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